You Were Chosen
“If you abuse anybody unprovoked, remember, it will return to you in thousand folds.”
-unknown
They could have found you anywhere. Maybe they noticed you in a bar, at work, the library, apartment, or even the grocery store. Perhaps they saw you singing karaoke or teaching at the gym. Perhaps they are your property manager. Whatever makes you stand out drew them immediately to you. Your confidence, charm, and beauty caught his attention. And it challenged their ego in a way that no one else had done. At that moment YOU WERE CHOSEN.
Initially, you are flattered by their attention. They are very good at making you feel special. Perhaps no one has pretended to like you before and you eat it up. We’ve all been there before reality sets in. It’s why so many people, both men and women, end up in abusive relationships. We believe that people have good intentions until we see proof that it isn’t true. If someone says they like and adore you, then they must be telling the truth. Most people are good humans so as a decent person ourselves we give them the benefit of a doubt. It isn’t until you’ve been dragged to the pits of hell and stripped of your confidence that you realize too late that you’ve been conned.
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Why do people pretend to like you when they actually don’t? Why do they beg you to stay when you try to leave? They seem so sincere and it can be so confusing. How can someone capable of such cruelty be so attached to you? They cry and beg when you try to assert your freedom. Since you are a good person you don’t want to hurt them so you stay. The sad truth is because they want to limit you, they want to destroy you so that they can feel better about themselves. As long as you are out there enjoying life and succeeding they are going to feel threatened by your mere existence.
Why did they even approach you if they don’t like you? Why do they propose, hire, or promote you? The answer is pretty clear; because they want to limit and control you. As long as they keep you close to them they can force you to submit to their expectations. They can make you change and fit into their mold. They can keep you below them. If they let you go you may become so successful and famous you’d never look at them twice. Or worse, you might come back as their boss and coach them on their shortcomings.
Their attention may feel like love. After all, most of us want to be noticed and loved. These narcissists are not always mean and aggressive. Sometimes they are kind and gentle. They buy you nice gifts, give you a promotion or raise, and praise your work. But behind closed doors they are nasty. They don’t want you to wear lipstick because it makes you look like a clown, you can be a manager but are not allowed to participate in any important decision making, you have to get approval for every outfit you wear, permission to spend $5, etc. Those of us who have lived under a tyrant get it. To the outsider, it may look like you have the healthiest relationship in the world. You get along so well and they’re so nice to you! Yes, as long as you don’t question them and are completely compliant. You get your rewards and they are “happy” with you.
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If you try to complain about them people don’t believe you. They control every aspect of your life, including your words, wardrobe, social media, etc. No one has any idea who you really are except for the person they created. They are in charge of your reputation and can destroy you in a matter of minutes. They may have convinced you that no one else could love you but them. You can’t be successful anywhere else. You come off as ungrateful and selfish if you complain that they yelled at you last night because you refused to cook them dinner. When you try to break it off with them when they cry to anyone who will listen that you are breaking their heart. They gave you everything. They promoted you, they hired you when no one else wanted you, they married you. And what are you giving them in return, the cold shoulder? No one knows what it’s like when you are alone with them.
These types of jerks are so dangerous because they seem so nice at first glance. It is so important to understand that just because someone compliments you, gives you gifts, or says nice things does not mean that they actually are nice. Some people are really good at going through the motions and convincing you to trust them simply so that they can destroy you later without any reproach. I know I would much rather spend my time around people who say it like it is. Real people who are not always in a good mood. People who are considered grouchy badasses. People who don’t always compliment you and shower you with presents. What we want from those close to us is the truth. We want to see who you are. The nitty-?gritty, the tears, your fears, your joy, the truth. We’re not afraid to see your weaknesses. We don’t want that fake garbage that inevitably takes a terrible turn into abuse.
Be careful if you are a strong, independent, powerful individual. Because you have already been CHOSEN.
